As many of us who are not "lucky" enough to be the only child of our parents, I am certain that you are familiar with the term sibling rivalry as what is obtainable in most homes (I spent a large period of my childhood wishing I was an the only child).
When parents have more than one child, separating fight and dispute is inevitable.
Although, some children become best friend and protectors of their siblings, others do not become buddies with their siblings. Instead however, they secretly wish that the other sibling was not born.. Usually, this desire is not as a result of hatred for the sibling or as a result of malice but it comes out of a a show of personal will to own the parents without sharing i.e, to not have to share the parent's with any other person.
More often than not, sibling rivalry starts at the foetus stage of the another child. The pregnant mother takes extra care so to ensure nothing happens to the foetus and the child notices that the, parent's attention seems divided,there and then, rivalry begins.
Rivalry between siblings is not in anyway abnormal. However, the abnormality sets in when the rivalry is no longer playful healthy but toxic like streams which flow from a mindset of pure hatred mind. When a couple buy a pet with the hope of learning parenting skills from their interaction with the pet before deciding to birth thier own,studies shows that even pets portray this characteristic at the arrival of a new baby in a family.
Therefore, sibling rivalry is normal as children feel the need to compete for their parents parents attention, love, affection, praises, encouragement etc. There is are also disputes and arguments as to who is more g attractive, intelligent, likeable, fun, sound etc. These arguments surfaces comes up from time to time, especially when they are of the same gender and continues even after the siblings grow up.
The main reasons for the fights and rivalry is attributed to as a result proceeds from of jealousy and unhealthy competition. A child could become jealous of the way his or her parents treat the other sibling(s) on the basis of favouritism and then, starts to compete with that other sibling to attain that level of favouritism , , exhibiting anger and frustration in communicating his or her view, trying to beat the sibling at school, sport, games and extra curricular activities to prove that they are the better one.
There is also the issue of temperaments and behavioural patterns. Children have several and different temperaments. Even twins do not share the same temperaments. Some children may be clingy, some moody, some free and some are loners. It is normal for clingy child to always want to be with the parent's and this by cause resentment of that child by the other sibling(s) as they would want attention too. This attention they crave might not be as a result of their personality but as a result of their sibling's actions and parents' response. As they grow, there will be clashes when they do not understand and respect one another's behaviour and character amongst other things. Siblings argue when they take each other's things, complain that someone gets the bestof what their parents bring and they settle amongst one another or with their parents intervention. But what causes it when sibling rivalry escalates, such that it is not just about competing for parents or visitor's attention, when siblings have nothing but pure hatred for one another(such that their parent's intervention does not cut it and God's intervention is needed), even when they are old and independent? Is it still sibling rivalry when a sibling wishes the other(s) ill-luck or death? What brings about it? Is it the parent's fault or the children's fault or because they are not religious? What exactly is the root? Your comments wil
As little children, we lived in confidence, acted in confidence, we breathed confidence! In fact, our middle name was confidence. I mean we excreted whenever we wanted to with no cares or worry in the world. Sometimes we even peed in our parents’ faces while they changed our diapers, we threw up into their mouth while they tried to kiss us and all. That was who we were and we were not afraid to show who we are to anyone, we were not hiding, we felt perfect, we were confident.
When visitors would come and try to pick us up, we did not allow just anyone to pick us up/ carry us however they wanted, we cried when we don’t want a certain person carrying us, we laughed with some and made angry faces at others. No matter how much a person wanted to be with us, we decided whether or not we wanted to with our only voice, our smiles, our laughs, our tears. As we grew older, we started attending preschool, for some, day care, pre nursery, nursery school, kindergarten etc and things started getting real. Things started happening we couldn’t wrap our minds around. Some kids do not want to sit with us or play with us or even talk to us because we cried too much, laughed too much, ate too much, had mucus trickling down our nose etc. But despite all this we still had our confidence, we just cope with it and remain happy because happiness is the essence of the whole concept of being a child and just wait till mummy or daddy or both of them or relations or even staffs come to pick us from school. During that period, we did not spend much time in school, we stay home more often and we still have at least one person on our side listening to us. So we just sulk our anger away, play again, laugh. Our confidence was still there, for some more prominent than the other. We let our belly hang out (seems like kids have big bellies), we don’t cover our skin in sweatshirt, we don’t overdose on weight loss or weight gain pills, we do not get high to feel elated. But you crossed over from nursery school to primary school, elementary school or middle school and boom there are group of friends and you do not belong to any group or you do but your group of friends are not who you wanted to be with, you just happened to be with them because no one else wants to be your friend and you guys are there for each other. Like, helping one another our of a friendless situation. You start asking your mum why yourself why your class mates do not want to play with you, think over and over about what you have done but you can’t seem to decipher. They start getting to you and you feel it cut through your flesh, their thoughts and all You soon get admitted into secondary school or high school, cliques got bigger and meaner some of those in your uncool circle got cooler and don’t want to be friends again and you start to sink lower into yourself as you start to loose your confidence shred by shred and as maturity comes you loose every bit of it. Several teenage problems being the factor, weight, shape, color, hair, eyes, mouth, nose, disability, intelligence or lack of it, boyfriend or girlfriend or lack of it, PHE ability and so on. These factor and so much more makes you loose your confidence. Forgetting we are more than that. In fact we are gifts from God. The scriptures says every good and perfect gifts cone from God. We are from. God, we are good and perfect. We don’t need validations. We need scriptural validations, know our talents, understand our purpose and go for it.
It would have been wonderful if we keep being babies without growing up till we die however, that cannot be the case because growth is inevitable except for those who die at a tender age. I know a lot of people have said countless times that “as you see yourself, so you are” and this same message has spread around so many times that if it was to be believed self doubts is supposed to be long gone in history but sadly, no matter how many times it’s said, it’s difficult to believe because most of those feeding us with the need to have a good self esteem have been birthed with self esteem as their first name and carry it around as their inheritance right? They are our definition of beauty, intelligence, smartness, fitness, talent, craft, art, sense etc. And hearing it come from them sounds like comparing a mud house to a glass house since both are houses, people live there and they are owned by people whereas it is obvious that most people would prefer a glass house to a mud house. Only the poor live in mud houses except when you are on an adventure or it is used for theatrics. One thing is you define yourself. The way you present your self to the world if not immediately, in the long run will effect on how you will be perceived. I wish we could remain that little child that believes he or she can take over the world after mastering the art of using a toy gun, that believes because she’s daddy’s princess she’s exquisitely beautiful, that believes because thier parents called them smart, they are incredibly smart. Trust me, it’s not being delusional. If you can think it, dream it, believe it, you can achieve it. See if you see yourself as meaning the whole world, then you do. If you see yourself gaining the whole world, you can! Of course, Rome was not built in a day and you can’t get everything you want immediately but you can always take baby steps unrelenting and you’ll get your desired aim. Self doubt is a dream killer, it kills every good will you have towards your self and limits the height of aspiration because you’ll just believe that you cannot amount to anything better or do anything better because of certain attributes or weaknesses you have. Not knowing that your weakness can be converted to become your strength. I saw this movie, titled : I feel pretty. There was a lady who was chubby and didn’t like the way she looked at all. She felt she wasn’t going to be loved by anyone because of her looks and also felt she should not be respected since she was fat and desperately wanted to look beautiful. She was working at a company from some kind of underground office and felt it was because of her looks. She kept applying for spaces in the same company outside the underground office but it was not forth coming, even though she was a very smart, brilliant and intelligent lady, beautiful too. On a certain day, she attended a weight loss class where she had some sort of “encounter” as a result of the trainer’s speech. She was getting excited from listening to the trainer that she fell off the machine and hit her head on the ground. On recuperation, she felt beautiful and different. She felt, agile, smaller, slimmer and immediately, she went to the mirror and saw someone different, a slim, beautiful, gorgeous magazine cover like model, even though to all and sundry, she was the same person. As a result of her personal believe that her look has changed and she has a beautiful model-like look, her confidence grew. She heard non-existent cat calls and gave kisses to confused strangers. She got offers thinking it was because of her looks, rather it was because of her boosted confidence and her high self esteemed personality. Anytime she went out with her friends and people looked their way or addressed the trio kindly, she felt it was because of her. She became open, showing off more skin, she became dogged, getting her dream job, she became bold, educating her bosses and fellow workers at board meetings She was not supposed to attend and was loved by her boss and her boss’ family. Her behavioural traits opened an opportunity for her to travel with her boss to be able to speak at a gathering organized by the company for a new brand inspired by her. While getting around things at the venue, she fell and hit her head again and started feeling ugly like before. She didn’t want to see anyone because in her mind of minds, the spell is broken and she has lost her beauty. She even ran away from her friends and boyfriend because she lost said beauty. However, since she already agreed to give a speech at an event before she lost her beauty, she arrived at the conference, in a sad and unpleasant state of mind with two pictures one from when she was beautiful and the other representing her ugly state. She set up the pictures and gave her speech pointing to the pictures at different times to represent beautiful and ugly confusing the audience who are seeing the same person with different hair styles. Due to murmuring from the crowd she had to turn to see the pictures and it was like scales fell from her eyes as she saw she was the same in both pictures. Then she realised that she didn’t need beauty or any other thing. She only needs faith in herself, confidence in herself and she is unstoppable. Furthermore, we are created by God, of God in His own image, wonderfully and beautifully he created us. The Bible makes us believe that “as he is, so are we” . So why has self doubt clouded your mind and judgement about who you are? I am not trying to give you a life instruction manual, I know it is not easy to have lived with years of believing something is wrong with you or you are not good enough and suddenly get a wake up call to believe in “you” and treat you better. It’s not easy to get your self worth now. But practice makes perfect right? There is nothing you know how to do now that you learnt in a day. Just try to look inward and see you are enough, feel you are enough.We can also receive help from self doubts when we look to God through his word. Whenever we doubt ourselves, look to God’s world and internalize it for yourself. For instance, Lola Anikuowo shared something on instagram.
This article is written towards helping you to believe in yourself and understanding the fact that no one will ever love you better than yourself and I hope it has.
So, I heard what I have been hearing for a long time now, “make hay while the sun shines”. This in simple English means “do what you can when you are able to, hustle when you still have the strength”etc. It’s a social media time and the best thing to do in this period is to put the media into use and grab all it can offer. I love talking and some people say that I am a dramatic person while others say that I am a comic. However, only very few people have witnessed my dramatic side, due to the fact that I always wear a serious look. Although, I have few friends that really know as a person and now that coronavirus has kept us all at home, in between sleeping, eating, reading and writing, I believe it’s time to seize this opportunity to do the things that needed and complete the project at hand. I have been trying to complete the a novels for the longest and I believe this is the time to finish it. Ps: when I opened the files, I had to clean it because it was covered with dust and cobwebs. The door to the file cabinet was very hard and stiff to open that I had to oil the door hinges before it could be opened. And just for my own protection I also made use of nose masks. I don’t neighbors next door to misconstrued my sneezing from the dust as a sign of coronavirus. I thought, I should do something to show my comic side. What will be better than a video? On You tube? I don’t have the means for all that yet and a certain someone said you’re not that funny, it’s only your laugh that is funny. So I am making use of what I have, my blog, my only media power to do whatever it is i can do to keep me busy and keep you busy. Ps: don’t let negativity from anyone affect you or deter you from doing anything positive you want to do. What is it that you have been meaning to do all these while and you haven’t been able to, because you think you are not yet good enough, the opportunities out there is not enough, the country is not even making things easy for us etc. These excuses are only thieves of time. There is no human that wouldn’t have just a tiny tid bit opening some where that they can draw a ray of light from. There’s no house that does not have window except back in the days of our great grandfathers where they built a cell block that the Yorubas call “Tubu”, even the thatched and mud houses have windows, it just depends on how much we make use of what we have at our disposal, whether little or grand, it will still yield a form of result. My family friend’s daughter, kind of my niece was having her birthday today, so we decided to visit her for the mini celebration, even though we couldn’t get her gifts. I woke up that morning with a smile on my face, because of the birthday. I don’t know why I was that excited, it was probably the thought of leaving the house that excited me more. I already arranged and ironed the clothes I was going to wear early the morning yesterday, I even cleaned my shoes. All day yesterday, I kept making references to the birthday so much that you would think its a big party whereas, only 8 people would be attending. Around 2:12 pm, we arrived at their house. We greeted the birthday girl and had loads of fun, gisting, laughing, dancing, while it lasted that we forgot that we’ve gone beyond the curfew period (in Ibadan, rather than lockdown, there is curfew. Although, we’ve been practicing the lockdown until it became unbearable) I met an old friend and got talking with her for a long while before going back in to join the celebration and we were still enjoying ourselves until someone pointed it out that time is not on our side. Our house luckily is within a the distance of twenty minutes walk. We walk with other group of people leaving in the same neurborhood which made it easy better. We started a conversation with my aunt on the Covid19 virus and the 6am- 7pm curfew in Oyo state till we reached a checkpoint some policemen stopped us on the way asking us why we were outside at that time. It was around 7:30pm. My aunt explained to one them that she was coming from a small gathering and we had to go back home. The man already allowed us to go, only for us to be stopped by another one, a senior officer. “What are you doing outside by this time, knowing fully well that curfew is on?”. Rather than responding, my aunt switched on the torchlight on her hand and drew it towards her face, just so he could see her face. He was furious as he thought she was trying to see his own face with the light. She explained what she was doing and also explained that she was an NCDC officer. “And so what? Are you not supposed to be law abiding? What are you teaching your nieces and nephews? To be disobedient?” “No sir, we lost track of time, that’s the point here, we didn’t know time has gone”. He asked for her I’D card however, she forgot it at home. The man then called one of his boys to lock us up. Surprisingly, we were all unfazed by the situation. That was how an arguement ensued between him and my aunt. My aunt told him that she would be coming back the same route to go home to her husband and children. He asked us to go, saying that if she comes back she would be in serious trouble. However, my aunt did go back and called us when she arrived home. Two days later, we saw her and she said she wasn’t even stopped alongside a few others while she was returning.
Dumb boys and girls are not exactly those who have speech impediment or those that have mental disabilities. In fact, a dumb boy or girl can be overly book smart and people smart and yet still be dumb.
Dumb people in my opinion are those who feel the strong need to belong. Teenagers who believe that because they have started dating or old enough to date, that gives them the right to misbehave or disrespect others or, engage in vices, such as ? smoking, drinking, dressing provocatively when they are going out to the grocery store or to a party. Someone, who is not smart enough to know when he or she is being exploited or manipulated. They believe that delayed gratification is denied gratification and for this reason they tend chase gratification until their last breadth. They put themselves in situations where they will eventually feel obliged to do things because they feel indebted to someone. People that are dumb tends sell themselves short not realizing their personal worth, believing that they can be bought with a price, which by doing so, they open up themselves to several forms of harm. Dumb people more often than not base their relationships on material and sexual benefits. They are always unsure of who they are and what they want, they just go with the flow and struggle to fit in and blend in, they are moved by the whims and captives of peer pressure. As a child, I was able to recognize dumb stuffs which helped me at an early stage never to do dumb things, and It also helped me as a teenager in my decision making. I may not be the smartest person on earth but dumb people annoy and irritate me. I know no one should be a judge of other people’s character but I’m a confident person sure of what I want, so being dumb infuriated me. I made choices that I did not regret by refusing to be dumb, when I realized what it meant to be dumb. However, despite the fact that I made this resolution and choice on my own, I wanted to shove my choices and way of life down the throat of others, I determined to make others around me like me and who better to make my center than my younger brother. I tried to make my brother like me. I wanted my brother as well to grow up not being dumb, I tried all I could to make him see reasons with me. I’d sit him down, lecture him against things I believes are vices, sort of giving him a product manual/ handler’s book. If I caught him doing something bad at home which most times is inevitable growing up, I’d shout at him, go on and on for days, yelling profanities at him. If I caught him using crazy slangs (lol, there are slangs and there are slangs😁), I’ll flip and haul insults at him. I was never one to have much friends but a few. I totally believed in the saying that says “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. I tried passing that on to my brother and because of this, he hid his friends from me. He always calls and receive calls from them whenever am not around. Whenever, we have a conversation we don’t talk about his friends or even mention them. And as the psychologist that I am 😏, I always know as soon as soon as he starts lying. Hence, I became paranoid, I didn’t believe him any longer and I felt he was doing worse than hanging out with friends I didn’t know. It was terrible because he was smart as well, I kept praying to God and asking him to let him see the light. After his graduation from secondary school, he started attending JAMB tutorial. If he tells me he is going to lesson, I’ll follow behind at a far distance to be sure that’s where he actually went to. I didn’t know where else I expected him to be🤦♀️ in fact if he tells me he was going for a church program, I’ll call people at the church to confirm if it was true. At this point my parent’s already advised me to learn to take his word as truth and since we all counsel him, I should leave him alone. However, I was not convinced, I was always following him around but I discovered that despite all my rants and talks, he did what he wanted to do because he his still himself. Although, he chose to adhere to some of my advice, others he did not. He did what he wanted. Despite all my troubles, wandering, stressing myself out, it yielded little of what I wanted it to. As a child, I had grey hair that keeps multiplying. I felt worrying about my brother might even be a contributing factor to the multiplication and my whole hair might become grey before I clock 25 if I refuse to tread softly. Recently, I was going to church with my brother and I asked him if my dress was nice before we left the house and he told me the dress was perfect. However, when we got close to the church, he told me my dress was not good at all and I didn’t look okay, In fact, I look like a “nursing mother”. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”, I yelled So what will you do now? Go back home? I was torn and he noticed it, so he said “you always told me to be proud of how i look and be myself regardless of what anyone says, that I shouldn’t hold anything negative to heart but embrace positivity. You told me we are kings because we are responsible for what we allow to get to us and what goes out of us. That is what I do, do the same. I went into the church’s toilet to look in the mirror. Normally, negative opinion of others doesn’t matter to me but opinion from family members count, shouldn’t it? That argument between us was an eye opener, I realized I was the dumb one. It is always easy to tell people how to live their lives, easy to lecture but difficult to practice teachings. I always set a standard for people I meet to a pattern of behaviour and interests and when they fall short of it, I try setting them straight. If it doesn’t work, we part. I forgot that variety is the spice of life and we cannot all be the same. If we were all the same we would not have our identity, our uniqueness. In talking about Christ, I made it so that the other person will feel as worthless as a discarded rag, unfit on earth, unfit for anything, I felt my views were perfect and stream lined them to follow my thought process, I made choices for them. Whenever I am asked for advice, I don’t just give advise, I give you conclusions, ensuring you follow them, choking others up. I thought about everything, monitoring my brother and all and concluded that I was also dumb in trying to shape/ mould my brother’s life, doing the work of God. Even God, The Almighty didn’t make choices for us, he gave us the will to do whatever it was we wanted to do from the Garden of Eden to us having the choice to accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. He didn’t force it on us, He didn’t shove salvation down our throat or make us love him or serve Him by force even though He has power to, rather, He gave us will. Many times, we are hypocritical, we call others dumb and other names because of stereotypes and all we try to make choices for others. Everyone has their will, they have the right to make their own choices.
Most times we doubt ourselves, we self ourselves short. We feel like or sometimes, believe as well that we are not good enough, strong enough or capable. We feel like we are unworthy or undeserving of the good that comes our way. These feelings of self worth has it’s effect on our lifestyle. It has it’s effect on how much nonsense we allow, how much we allow other people’s words, approval or lack of it. Some of us endure abusive relationships, embrace mediocrity, shrink in obscurity because we believe we are not worth it that we do not deserve better. We think because of our terrible past, we do not deserve happiness or better days, no, we all do. We look at ourselves in the mirror of life comparing ourselves to others and rather than see the good in us, we see the worst in ourselves. More so, because we do not conform to standards. Because we are not the “IT” girl or guy, because we are not as cool as others or because we do not have a crowd of people following us and nodding family, hanging on our every word. We all at one point or the other in our lives have challenged our worth. One interesting fact is that our worth is usually not affected because of others challenging it. Our worth is usually challenged because we ourselves challenged it. As a writer or speaker or rapper or whatever it is you are doing, rather than put yourself out there to do what you are good at, at try outs when others are hailing you and clapping at the prospects of seeing a new talent, you’re already doubting yourself; am I good enough? Will the crowd like me? What if I slip on the stage and fall? We go ahead to conjure all sort of disastrous images in our head and in the end it happens and then we sink further into our shells because our fears have just been confirmed. We are not good enough. However, you are not good enough because you first believed so, you are worth it when you think you are worth it not because of anyone or anything. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.. I don’t know if it’s just me but there are some music I’ve listened to and were like crap, some books I’ve read and went “what’s this? Who is this person disgracing our ancestors?”, I’ve eaten in some restaurants and had a sour taste in my mouth for days. But people keep applauding these musicians with crappy songs, these writers with silly books and the restaurants with bad chefs are frequented by customers! Why? Because they believe in themselves, they believe in what they do and it’s either people accepted them or go home and people did accept them. There is a Yoruba adage interpreted as however you present yourself is how people will present you and address you. This world is such that if you have low self esteem or feel inferior you would be treated that way by all and sundry and if it is the other way round, the treatment will be the same.
More often than not we find ourselves in this position because we believe to be worth it we have to have amassed wealth, be the most intelligent, the most beautiful, the most studious, the most sarcastic. Especially nowadays that the society is well, what it is, we believe we have to be the baddest or “madest” if there’s something like that. We forget that we are enough, that we are beautiful just the way we are, we forget we are smart, we forget we are industrious, we forget we are talented. Trust me, it is easy to forget how amazing you are and get stuck as a result of distractions flying around and the present rush hour in the world. Where everybody seems to be doing a lot, moving around a lot and you just sit stuck up in the same place and you feel haven’t I missed it like this? The fact that you don’t fit into stratas does not mean you are abnormal a lot of us don’t fit in. You should not even want to fit in in the first place. We are human beings, beautiful in our diversity. There is no other person like you, no other person with the same distinct and unique attributes. Therefore, own your person, own your faults, own your attributes, traits and qualities. Define yourself, define your person. You are worth whatever you believe you are worth. Do not compare yourself to others. Develop yourself, believe in your person. Believing in yourself is important, if you want to be valuable you have to believe that you are valuable. This is not just your story, it’s mine too and that of many others so I am not just talking at you but I am writing to us. Sometimes, we let the words of others flow like a stream into our head and shape our perception of ourselves. We think we are not where we want to be because we are not worth it. Because we wish for more, because we haven’t found happiness, we believe we are stuck somewhat that we have lost ourselves, only we haven’t. There is need to focus on one’s self, do away with all distractions and look inwardly, see the beauty, the good, the awesomeness in us that we want others to see, believe in ourselves that we worth it and yield to that believe. We’re all worth it! We are enough!
There are times we look at ourselves and our perception of what we see is low. We look in the mirror and ask God, is this who you saw and said good, wonderful? You ask this when you consider your brokenness, your present person we feel dejected and depression sets in. This is because we are holding on to an unpleasant past, being defined by the inadequacies in our today and not seeing the ray of hope in tomorrow, we allow situations, people, media, time etc shape our identity. When life throws you lemons and as a determined person, you make lemonades out of them but even these lemonades pour away, you become dejected and feel disappointed. We all experience different periods of anxiety and discouragement, we certainly do, only that A’s differs from B’s, the circumstances vary but it is still the same inner trauma. Especially in circumstances where we have put in our best, time, efforts, sweats and personally had some feelings of sugar rush, telling ourselves, this is it, this is the break but unfortunately, our idea of break is not the break, we lost it, we give ourselves over to sadness and sorrows. These challenges can come from anywhere and as a result of anything. It might be as a result of relationships, academics, money, job, spiritual life, mental health etc Sometimes we seem to others that we are not getting out there enough, doing things enough, there’s much talk than action, you could have done it better this way, your mates are doing this and that already. All these bring about pressures, we unnecessarily submit ourselves to and in a rush in, in anxiousness and confidence, we fall out in despondency, daily becoming less of ourselves, becoming less of the person God has called us out to be. Suddenly, we feel we are not enough and subject ourselves to insecurities, believing only in the now and that we can never make head ways. A saying goes “do not judge a book by its cover” but time and time again, we judge ourselves by our cover, by our circumstances. Because things have not turned around as they ought to, according to our expectations, we believe we are over and we give up. More so because we have managed to be upright, determined and hardworking and we think to ourselves “I can’t be better than this”. No, you always can and you will. We tend to rate ourselves on the performance of others. We forget that progress, whether slow or fast is progress.
Usually, it is phase people go through at one point or more when we start thinking or comparing ourselves to others. Some people get out of it, however, some remain trapped in it forever. Going through this phase does not mean something is wrong with you, it means you want more, it means you want to break out, its spring from a thirst for progress, success and excellence. Whenever these happens, rather than feel sad or dejected, BREATHE IN, take a one minute pause and let it go, take your questions deep within your soul, commune with God in your Spirit. However you want to look at it, there’s no where you can get a lasting help. God is your one and only bus stop. The bible says we should call upon God for help, cast our cares upon God because he cares for us. He will always keep you lest you fall or fail.
So, whenever you feel despondency, BREATHE IN, take a pause and call upon God, trust him with everything. It is whoever remains in the race and fight to finish that can emerge a winner. Whenever you feel sad or worried, bothered, troubled, BREATHE IN and commune with GOD. Conclusively, do not because of setbacks quit the race or stop fighting.
The word is a strip club, some dance while others toss money, watch and drink, as others do the gritty dance and grind to the music. The world is a stage, where everyone gives their performance and in the end they are either applauded or not.
Often times, ovation is loudest where you put in your best to prove yourself worthy and deserving of it. People get accolades here and there for achieving something big or doing a particular thing well. If not everyone, most people seek after getting the loudest ovation, quest for the accolades and words of praise. For instance in Nigeria, if a pop musician sings about you, you are either doing something right or wrong. But, most importantly you are affecting people it seems you are relevant.
There is usually a ladder, some at the utmost top, some at the bottom, and others in the middle. Those at the top are usually the ones with the clean hands who receive the loudest ovation and toss money here and there while those below do the gritty work and get their hands dirty. It is a social ladder some relax in their current location, some strive for more.
There is this notion people have when you mention the word “hustle” and they’ll go; “hustling is not for me o, it is not my portion, I will never hustle”. Well, there is need to understand that hustling is not struggling and they are not one and the same thing. A person, who struggles, strives for daily meal alone, how to maintain and manage their current situation. Such persons are contented with their present situation and do not look forward to something bigger or better. Such persons are contented with the status quo and do not seek for more.
A struggler is an average student that does not open his or her book until the night before the examination and fail to sleep only to keep getting the average score and nothing over 50. A struggler is that woman who sells tomatoes in the market and doesn’t think of expansion but to buy the same amount of tomatoes daily and sell the same amount daily, sometimes, even lesser. A struggler is that man who works at a departmental store as a sales rep and does not think about developing himself, lives in the same old house, wears the same old dress and shoes, drives the same old car, if he has, keep paying bills and debts till death comes. Often times, a struggler dies a struggler, when they fail to see the light and realize that there is got to be more than what they see. Have you ever looked in the mirror at yourself, judging from your looks, your stature, your features and felt that there’s got to be more than this for me to be created by God, looking this way, it means he has more in store for me. The spirit of hustling sets in when you see yourself to be more than what you are, when you have a dream of the bigger picture of who you are and work towards it. Hustling as well as struggling never stops or ends till death when you are an aspirer. Hustling is about having a thirst to be more; it is about striving for better.
A hustler is that guy who runs after vehicles to sell gala in the Oshodi Lagos traffic daily and at night gets online education through edx in any university, trains himself in various aspects. On Sundays after church, goes to the barbers shop to learn how to style men hair, saves his gala proceeds to get barbing equipments, strives hard and in the next five years after education, gets employment and proceeds again with his hustle.
A hustler is that young teenage girl, learning fashion designing and eventually opens a shop, not having any means or hope of formal education and creates good designs and clothes. She works hard to put herself out there, running after those that doubt her abilities and soon she becomes a celebrity stylist and afterwards a household name.
Hustling is not a negative thing. In fact, it is rather a positive thing. It's a verb,a doing word we must all do.